In Japan, Poop Like a King!

Disclaimer: Reader discretion recommended. ‘Coz I am gonna talk crap.

I know this is a long awaited post. It’s not going to be a long one, though. I promise. I mean, for how long can I keep up with talking crap 🙂

I had heard excited tales about the Japanese toilets from a friend who had been to Japan. From her 10 stories, 8 of them were about the toilets. As if anticipating the Promised Land, I couldn’t wait to get to Japan and experience it first hand.

So what’s the big deal about the toilets in Japan? Well, like everything else, The Japanese toilets are the most high tech in the world. Not surprisingly, the Japanese have paid a very meticulous attention to every detail of this daily ritual. Perhaps, they get it more than anybody else that the pot is the seat of creativity. From excretion to creation, in TOTO, that is all what a Japanese toilet is all about.

To cut a long story short, doing what you do in a 2 x 2 ft room perched on a ceramic pot in the Japanese geography is an experience! Here’s how…

Surprise, surprise! There’s water to wash your bum. For us Indians, we never feel too clean till we’ve had a good wash. Same pinch the Japanese :-). And a clean pot? Well, now that would be asking for the moon in our Motherland. Heck, by virtue of crows being black everywhere, even in the most developed countries, inconsiderate people do mark their territories in public toilets.

Needless to say, it’s a needless worry in Japan. A deodorizer automatically removes all the scent of the previous occupant. Step into refreshed air and sit on the heated sterilized pot. In some loos, you wouldn’t even need to pull down the lid, just push a button and it moves down. And the minute you are all set on the pot, it auto gurgles out water to rinse off any stubborn germs. In fact, the first few times, the rinsing may take you by surprise, I am not done yet. Why are you flushing?

What follows is a wonderful Me Time…and a bum spa! Sit back and relax. Let TOTO take over (Most toilets in Japan are from this company, TOTO).

The Poop-like-a-King Bum Spa begins…

Imagine how gratifying a heated toilet seat would feel in the cold of winter… Would you like some music? How about classical? Nah! Not in the mood for classical, today. Just drown out the ugly sounds I am making by some white noise. Sure!

How do you like the water ma’am? Hot, warm, tepid or cold? Is the pressure good? Should I go easy, or do you like a good hard spray?

And don’t bother shifting your weight. Front or back, TOTO’s got it all covered. A button for each makes a cleaning wand appear below your toilet seat and sprays the target areas, in the chosen water temperature, chosen water pressure.

If you’re lucky you may even find an upgraded TOTO offering a massage cleaning, which has a pulsating or vibrating spray!

Life is beautiful, isn’t it?

Wait there’s more… if they’ve ensured you don’t use your hands for anything, why should you even need to pat dry yourself with tissues? We’ve all seen a hair dryer. Well, they even have a bum dryer. Click a button and warm air does the needful (or cool air for the warm days) ;-). Get up, and the toilet lid closes and the contraption flushes on its own.

Felt like Royalty?  Maybe leaving aside rose petals showering from above, there’s everything else that would make you feel that you just pooped like a King 😉

Too many buttons

I admit, the first few sessions felt daunting. The TOTO pot comes with a side handle with all the buttons. (Some of them have a big back panel mounted on the wall). Too many buttons and options to choose from – water temperature, pressure, sprays for the posterior, bidet for the ladies (how thoughtful), sound options to drown out your personal music with a neutral, classical or white noise, and so on. So, that’s quite a few buttons, and labeled mostly in Japanese. Of course they have clear graphic icons so you figure them out pretty soon.

How much is Too much?

Coming back to meticulous attention… there’s this hotel we stayed in, the Dormy Inn at Toyama. It’s maybe a 4 or 5 storied hotel. The lift (elevator) of that hotel has a thoughtful corner stool. But no ordinary stool that! Of course, you could sit your journey up through the floors. But hey! If there’s an emergency call of nature, fret not… lift the top plank of the stool and it’s a pot!!

That’s how far they can go to insure your basic instinct! A little too much, but it’s the land of extremes.

Here’s an interesting read I came across.“… Japan is famous for its high-tech, derriere-washing, tushie-warming toilets. These are now such a valued part of Japanese culture that Toto, the beloved Japanese brand, has just built a $60 million museum devoted to its renowned product, at its home base in Kita-Kyushu, on the southern-most of Japan’s four main islands…”

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/how-japans-obsession-with-toilets-produced-some-of-the-worlds-best-bathrooms-a6774221.html