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Happy Birthday to 40 something Me!

Yay! It’s my birthday!

And I am not getting any younger. Well, I am not getting any older too. Uh! Huh! Not me…

In some ways, I am just getting started.

My birth records put me somewhere in my 40’s, not at the far end of course, a little to the left, a little more to the left and I would be in my 30’s, so you get it? (pssstt… it’s a red herring).

Anyway, yes! I am in the F league. The maligned F word that defines and defiles a whole age group of target audience.

We are a ‘captive’ audience for anti-wrinkle face creams and hair dyes and diabetes control and body shapers and boob pushers and mammograms and BP meds. Phew! Aisa karo balmaa, tum… marjaao!

Those are the rules and the expectations set by the Vanity brigade. Doesn’t mean it’s got to be that way…

The way I look at my foray into the forest of forties…it’s been the best years of my life!!! And I mean it.

As the gates of 40’s opened, a whole bundle of fears were flushed out, and a brilliant light of freedom flooded in.

A very close friend, a young mom 🙂 recently observed, Kavita, in the last few years you’ve been quite a dare-devil.

And she had nailed it.

The 40’s brought along a different devil may care attitude. I was through being embarrassed, being a little less than expected, being wary and being sober .

I could unmask and unveil a new me, unscheduled, unplanned and ever so often. I had no reservations about my roles in life, my position or stature. And that felt liberated.

All the things I vied from a distance, never able to try on, I was suddenly able to take a shot. ‘Coz I had shed the fear of failure. There was only one thing I focused on, I want it and I will at least make an attempt to go for it.

And boy! Is that liberating! It’s like how a bird would feel in the sky… just her and the wind. She will flap her wings to get some power, then she will just float and enjoy the ride.

And so it was, the late bloomer that I am blessed to be, my forties saw me as a pre-schooler’s mom when friends my age had teenage children’s problems to deal with.

In forties, I learned to drive a car. And when I rallied down the road competitively, from Mumbai to Goa in just a few months of being road worthy, I congratulated myself unabashedly.

In forties, I came to terms with my ‘healthy’ body. I matched the length of my smile to the girth of my waist. And they both sat well on me 🙂

I found new loves and rekindled some extinguished ones. (I am not talking about ex-es and y’s, though, I did muster the courage to confess to some old crushes 😉

The new love was for being trigger happy with a camera and being confident to buys my DSLRs.

I fired my penchant for traveling and all things off beat. I trusted my body, but I banked more on my mind.

And the most rewarding was the challenge unto myself for braving the harshest of climates and toughest of treks, the Chadar trek in subzero temperatures on the frozen Zanskar river. With osteo-arthritic legs, I started trekking mountains with my mind.

My forties also brought me into the world of friends. Who says you can’t make friends as you grow older? I have made some priceless friendships on turning the F knob. Friends from so many groups — young moms, old moms, college buddies, school mates, photography friends, friends from ex-offices… Bless WhatsApp and Facebook, for all their vices, they do bring people closer.

The greatest joy the tainted period got me was the joy of writing. More and more, I learned to write for myself. I stopped thinking at every sentence, is it boring? Who’s going to read this? My comfort with being me gets penned down, or typed down. Voila, I ended up writing a big fat book, a biography! I could have never imagined I would do that one day.

But the most priceless gift of the forties is life experiences. With so many years down the gullet, I can lead my child by example. I can tell her with confidence, in the end, nothing else matters. Let there be nothing in this world that you need to be embarrassed about. Don’t hold on to your fears. They are only in your mind. Once you take them head on, you can’t even catch its tail. It’s ok to fail, it’s ok to be not enough. Be you, not in parts and fractions, the whole Integer, YOU!

So, I raise a toast to myself and to so many of my blooming forties friends, who have had a very similar trajectory as I, but, well they don’t write a blog 😉

Happy Birthday to Me!

39 thoughts on “Happy Birthday to 40 something Me!”

    1. Happy birthday Kavita, very well expressed, I m nearing my 40s, I connect with your expressions, I can see myself in it.

  1. Happy birthday Kavita, very well expressed, I m nearing my 40s, I connect with your expressions, I can see myself in it.

  2. A very happy birthday Kavii to begin with..a pat on ur back for ur adventurous n free spirit..i simply love ur attitude of ‘Do what you feel like n what makes you happy’ n what better time to start when ur post 40..when ur a bit more wiser than before but a little less experienced than u wish to be..all the verrry best to u in all that u do…Cheers..!!

  3. First of all Kavita wishing you a happy birthday..May you be blessed with all you desires.you have rightly said that let our minds guide and take us to the destinations we want. A very well written and apt blog for all the F brigade.God bless.

  4. Very well written…Be whole you ..Not in part not in fraction..There’s only one life..Live it completely.. A very Happy Birthday to you..

  5. Happy Birthday Kavita! Kudos for being connected with your mind and trying out uncharted territories. Look forward to seeing you add more life to your years……

  6. Happy Birthday Kavita and Happy Forties! It’s truly a cathartic decade and absolutely liberating! You’ve beautifully captured the feelings we all go through. The acceptance that replaces self doubt is the best feeling of all… that’s really the wind beneath our wings. I’m so inspired by and proud of all the things you’ve done! Next time count me in. Cheers!

    1. Thank u so much ashita. I also have such inspiring women around me, henal, esp. Khyati, u, who keep.pyshing d envelope, my mom, who never seems to grow old. My ba, the most avante garde woman of all times and my mother in law who never once tried to clip my wings.

  7. This is a superb blog. Just loved it. I would appreciate one major thing. It’s that when people start becoming rigid and stubborn in their thinkings n lifestyle, u started opening up. Again, the credit goes to Gia as well. Cause as a mother , v start learning and adapting new things and concepts in life. Kudos to ur forties and darings. Happy Bday. Write more. Travel more

  8. Gosh pal! Got goose bumps! You have articulated every damn thing so well! And I completely resonate with that feeling of don’t give a damn anymore….. and of leading your kid by example… u are a super mom!happy birthday and wishing you a lifetime of “your type” adventures! Big hugs mama hero!

  9. Awesome write up K… Your zest for life is really commendable… Also, I want to thank you for penning down your adventures. You may not be aware, but it does inspire many of the readers.
    Life surely begins at 40 plus! Wish you a very Happy Birthday Kavita.
    Keep inspiring! 😘😘

  10. Loved your birthday gift to yourself. Very well expressed your journey in the forties. Loved the line “in some ways, I am just getting started”. Can relate to it so well. Kudos to you lady. Keep going. You are finally on the right track.

  11. Wish u verry Happpy Bday Kavita! Wonderful reading your blog! So inpiring nd very well written! It touched my heart! All the best Dear!

  12. Hi kavita Happy birthday .Brilliantly written. Age is only a number & believe me, it keeps getting better .You start caring less for “what others will say?” & start doing your hearts desire. Your life is really getting inspirational Keep doing what you love. Stay blessed

  13. Very well articulated Kavi !!! 40’s is indeed a number. I love you for your carefree attitude towards life. Obviously I am not good at writing but being with you / talking to you gets positive energy in me.

  14. Damn ! So bingo … On everything you are n have become n especially on what most people want deep within their hearts.

    Keep going.

    Happy Birthday Babe :*

  15. Suberbly worded every feeling,life experience which most of us have felt or are going through currently.Let this adventuring streak in you take to to new heights . love you girl ….Happy birthday

  16. Very well penned down thoughts of a forty something female.Truely agree with u about the liberty we experience about our outlook towards ourselves. About caring a damn about what others think about us.About following our dreams nd last but not the least to love ourselves nd live for ourselves…

  17. Well done and well written of course!! You only have one life after all!! Chalo am inspired and let me start living … Right away!!!

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